i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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