Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
