is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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