It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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