He kissed a someone with a penis
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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