you would pick up someone in the library
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
