if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
