Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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