Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
