I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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