Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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