all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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