and you said cock pushups were impossible
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
