i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
