I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
