Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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