I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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