I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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