is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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