Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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