just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
