I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize