Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
