do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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