Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
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I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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