If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
