Yo dont text me then not text me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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