Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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