You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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