I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
