Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
