when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
