I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
