I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
