You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize