Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
