I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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