I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
