Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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