We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
