It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
