i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
