dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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