We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
