Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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