Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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