someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
