my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
