i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
