**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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