I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
