Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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