i just google imaged poop.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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