You're completely useless in the revolution.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
