I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
