his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
