I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
