...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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